Different people like sex that lasts for different amounts of time. Some like it quick and others like to take their time. The length of time it takes to cum varies from person to person and it can also change depending on the person you're with or the type of sex you are having. However, if you are worried about cumming too quickly (known as premature ejaculation), it can be distressing.
If you think that you cum too quickly it can be solved with a little time, effort and knowledge. Here are some tips that might help:
Know your body
Getting to know your body is a good first step. If you know the sensations and feelings that happen just before you have an orgasm, you can learn to predict when you are about to cum. This will prevent it from taking you by surprise. You can then slow down the action or do something different (like stop fucking and just kiss for a while) before you cum.
The position of lovemaking may also affect whether you will cum fast. All men are different and some men find it harder to hold themselves when their partner is controlling the action. It's best to experiment and vary the positions according to what allows you to control yourself better.
Proper breathing can also help you to control when you cum. Taking a few deep breaths can help you relax and calm the tension that occurs before you cum. Try practising deep, relaxed breathing and relaxing your entire body.
Exercises
There are some techniques that you can practise while wanking that can help you to delay cumming.
- The 'stop and start' method: This involves wanking until you reach the point where you think you are about to cum. At this point, stop wanking and wait about 30 seconds. Keep repeating this until you decide that you want to just carry on and cum. By doing this your body gets used to the sensations and you can build the length of time it takes to cum.
- The 'squeeze' method: This involves wanking until you reach the point where you think you are about to cum. At that point, squeeze your cock – where the head meets the shaft – for several seconds, without wanking. Hold it for about 30 seconds, and then start wanking again. Keep doing this until you decide that you want to cum. This is a good technique to use in times where you think you may be really close to cumming.
You can also strengthen the muscles that control cumming. This can give you better control and make you more aware of what is happening with your dick and arse. The exercises that are used to help strengthen these muscles are called Kegels (after the doctor who developed them). You can do these exercises by squeezing the muscles that stop you from pissing. Try doing it next time you take a piss. Half way through pissing, squeeze the muscles to shut off the flow of piss. Then release and start pissing again. Once you have found the right muscles you can do Kegels at any time and in any place without actually pissing.
Talk to your partner
Talking to your sexual partner is another way of helping sex last longer. Let your partner know when you are getting close to cumming and what you can and cannot handle. Simple clear words are best if you want to avoid any misunderstanding. "Stop", "Hold it", "Start" and "More" are a good place to start.
Cumming too quickly may be down to anxiety, fear or discomfort with your partner. If you both know each other well and feel comfortable talking, it can be easier to have sex that you are both happy with.
Although it may be tricky at first, overcoming the thoughts and feelings linked to this problem will usually be easier if both partners are aware of the situation and open to discussing it.
Desensitising sprays and condoms
Desensitising creams or sprays can help. They reduce the sensations felt during sex so that it can last longer. You can buy spray over the counter either at your pharmacist or in a sex shop. You spray it on the head of your dick about ten minutes before you have sex. However, many men feel that these products make sex less pleasurable because of the reduced sensitivity. Many of these creams are not condom compatible, so be sure to carefully check the label before you use them. To be sure you're being safe, you can buy 'delay' condoms which have a lotion inside them and can provide a gentle numbing effect to prolong sex.
Durex Performax Lubricated
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Keep It Up Delay Gel
Up!...It's the First and Last Word for a Memorable Experience! Desensitizing gel for lasting erections! Fragrance-free, sugar-free, paraben-free gel. 100% Vegan, No Animal Testing. Sensually enhanced with pomegranate and acai. 2.5 Fl Oz/ 74 ml. Airless Pump Applicator
Duet hybrid lubricant and stamina male delay
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